Saturday, July 31, 2010

Thinking of Friends...

MARRIAGE....a story to remember!  Posted by a friend and needed to share it... 

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. 

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. 

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? 

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! 

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. 

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. 

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. 

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. 

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. 

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. 

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. 

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. 

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside 
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. 

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. 

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. 

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. 

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. 

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. 

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. 

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. 

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. 

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. 

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. 

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. 

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. 
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband.... 

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! 

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you. 

If you do, you just might save a marriage. 
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. 

Saturday, May 15, 2010

This Week in Pictures...

It's been a fantastic week...have added a new blog banner and real estate has been busy!  I wanted to share some photos that mean a lot to me...have a beautiful weekend!
We celebrated my dear friend Kelly's 40th birthday and 5 Year Anniversary of being Cancer Free!

Celebrated my wonderful mother and mother-in-law!

Received flowers from my son Ty that HE paid for, lol!

Got to see Rick spend some time with his mom Louise...which he needs to do more often!

Had a great time with fellow Second Saturday Studio artists, who gathered at my house!

My sweet friend Marshall and her classmates at Liberty Christian came to visit us at the Dalrymple Residential office...

...and signed up for A Summer with Claudine Hellmuth...a 12-week online art class that I'm so excited about!  A fabulous week I must say...hope you had one as well!

Monday, March 29, 2010

Romans 12: 7-9

As I'm trying to decide what to paint and donate to the First United Methodist Church fundraiser, I realize it's very hard to choose what subject to paint for such...the fundraiser auction is for the upcoming mission trip to Costa Rica and ends on April 11th.  Admittedly and not proud of, I am not one to quote bible verses,  however, I love searching for particular ones based off of subject matter.  When I came across Romans 12: 7-9, I knew it was perfect for the occasion.  Of course I had to make it somewhat abstract, as that is what I do!  I hope you like it!  Anyone can stop by the church during the week or on Sunday and see all of the fabulous items up for auction.  The youth would be greatly appreciative of your support.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Happy Birthday... my precious hubby Ricky!  He's 52 today...yes, he was born on St. Patrick's Day...very appropriate!  Have a beautiful day and thanks for being you sweet man!

Monday, March 15, 2010

It's Been Crazy... the reason for not posting regularly here on my blog! Not only has the real estate business been busy in our market area, but myself and a friend of mine (and former co-worker at Holden & Company) Micah Holden have spent the last five weeks or so putting together a new business! It is an art cooperative located in downtown Searcy, Arkansas named Second Saturday Studio! The building we are located in is part of the Main Street Searcy program and we are tickled to have their help and support.

We are starting out only opening on the Second Saturday of each month, hence the name, and had our first one this past Saturday...we had about 300 come through the doors of our little 435 square foot space and we are so grateful...Searcy is not exactly known for it's culture I have to say, but we are trying! It is amazing how many fellow artists we have met starting this venture and we talk to more everyday. They are like we were...doing something they love without a place to show it off and sell it...we hope to change that, so while this blog is going to be a more personal one, I will still be sharing art pieces as completed, before they are taken down to be displayed in the studio...please join me in supporting the artists from in and around our community and pop on over to to check it out...thanks so much!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Downtown Studio Info Now Available!

Email me at and I will forward it to you! Thanks for your interest! Kelly

Saturday, January 30, 2010


...The formation of Second Saturday Studio!

What: An art and handmade retail space for local artists to come together and sell their work!

Where: 213 W. Arch Street in downtown Searcy, AR 72143

When: The SECOND SATURDAY of each month, 9 AM TO 5 PM

If you are interested in joining us, please send a short bio and five photos of work that best represents what you will be showing and selling. The artists will be juried, as we are limited on space! There will be a monthly fee of $50-$75 per artist (depending on participation) and a six-month commitment is required. All artists will be given a specific amount of space (once again depending on participation) and will receive 90% of their sales proceeds, less any credit card fees. You need not be present on the appointed Saturday, however you are encouraged to! The 10% SSS keeps will help to cover advertising materials and studio supplies. We want this to be a great success and grow into something big! As a participating artist, you will have a vote in any changes that are made at the end of the six month period. We look forward to hearing from you. We are ready to get started, so e-mail us today!

Kelly VanHook and Micah Holden

Please send bio and photos to kelly@searcyhomes.